INTO A NEW YEAR

By LilyK

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"Tomorrow's New Year's Day," Blair said, unnecessarily.

"Yeah," Jim answered, nose buried in the philosophy book Blair had given him for Christmas.

(shifting and playing with shirt buttons) "What are you going to do tomorrow, Jim?"

"Nothing."

"No TV? No football? No celebrating the big New Year?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

(sigh) "Okay."

"What's wrong, Chief?"

"Nothing."

"Now, why don't I believe that?"

(shrug)

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

"That's the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"You not saying anything. Big problem from where I sit."

"Jim?"

"Yeah, Chief. I'm still right here."

"Would you mind if I went up to bed early?"

"Blair, it's New Year's Eve. You don't want to stay up until midnight and wish each other a Happy New Year?"

(another sigh) "I will if you want."

(pause) "No, it's okay. If you're not up to it, it's all right. Go to bed, Chief. Love you."

"Jim, I love you, too."

Jim watched his lover climb the stairs. He sat quietly for a long moment before he put a bookmark in his place and set the book aside. He crossed his arms on his chest and thought for another few minutes. Jim cocked his head and listened carefully. Blair was still and quiet, but his heart rate indicated he was awake. Jim rose, turned out the lights, checked the doors and windows, turned on the timer on the new coffeemaker that Blair had given him for Christmas, and went into the bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth.

Upstairs, Jim stood in the dark, watching the gentle rise and fall of his partner's chest. Blair's eyes were closed, but Jim knew he was not sleeping. Jim slid under the covers and lay a hand on Blair's shoulder.

"Tell me."

"What, Jim?"

"What's bothering you?"

(silence)

"Blair, this year's been quite a trip for you. You got your shield. You've been in the field on your own. You've been steady as a rock and a great partner. If something's bothering you, or if you need something, just tell me. Please."

Blair rolled to his side to face Jim, his blue eyes suspiciously bright. He smiled tentatively. "You always know, don't you?"

"No, I don't, but I try. I've tried to be a good partner for you, Blair. At home and on the job."

"Oh, Jim, you have. The best. It's just…" (long pause)

"Just…?"

"I want… I need… Oh, God. This is so hard!" Blair rolled away. "Never mind." (another sigh)

"Chief!" Jim said through clenched teeth. "Do not do that!"

"Do what, Jim?"

"'I want…' 'I need…' - then not finishing!" (pause) You don't have any faith in me. You don't trust me enough to ask."

"No. No, no, no. It's not you, Jim. It's me. Honest."

"Damn it, Blair, quit tap-dancing and spit it out. You take lessons from Simon or something? I thought he was the master at tap-dancing."

"Jim, don't get mad at me. Please. I can't handle that right now." (silence) "Okay. Here goes." (pause) "Jim Ellison, will you… and in lieu of any other appropriate phraseology that's at my disposal at this time and because of the societal influences that have been foisted upon us… (sigh from Jim) Will you (very softly) marry me?"

"What?" (shocked)

"Oh, God." Blair tried to crawl out of bed, but a strong hand clamped around his wrist forestalled his escape. "Please, Jim," he whispered, tugging away gently.

"Chief? Did you just ask me what I think you asked me?"

(blushing) "Yes."

"But why? I thought you didn't want any big commitments. You said we were just, you know… I mean, I know you love me and you know I love you. What's going on?"

"You're pissed."

"No I'm not. I'm surprised. A serious commitment is something I never thought you'd ask for."

"Geez, Jim. What do you think I've been doing for the past four and a half years? Isn't that serious enough for you?"

"Whoa, Speedy. That's what I figured. You and I have made it through more than four years plus a hell of a lot of shit. I figured we were committed. We might not have said it in so many words. Maybe I was wrong."

"No, Jim. You weren't wrong. I am committed. I know you are. I just need something more. Maybe it's the anthropologist in me. I don't know. I want to hear you say the words. I want to say them to you. God, I'm so pathetic!" (sigh) "Really, Jim. It's cool. I'm not a stupid teenager. You don't have to pledge your undying love to me. Your actions tell me you love me. 'You' tell me you love me. Forget it, just… forget it." Blair rolled to his side away from Jim. "I'm sorry," he whispered, Sentinel-soft.

Jim lay very still for a few moments before he moved close to his mate and after putting a tender kiss on the warm skin of Blair's neck, he said, "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll marry you, Blair Sandburg."

"Honest?"

"No, Chief. I'm lying so you'll shut up. Of course, you idiot."

Blair turned and threw an arm around Jim's waist. He pressed himself against Jim's warm body. "Thank you."

"You want a reception and invitations, Blair? All of the usual stuff?"

Blair giggled. "No way, man. Just want to hold your hand and exchange vows. Just the two of us. And if you don't mind, I'd like to wear a band. It tells the world you're taken." (pause) "Is that okay? About the ring, I mean. I want to wear one. I know the guys at work already know about us so it shouldn't be too much of a shock."

"Chief, are the ladies still hitting on you?"

(laugh) "Yeah, sometimes."

"And the fellows on occasion, I'll bet."

(shrug) "I don't pay any attention. I have you, you big lug."

(deep laugh) "Blair, it's 11:30 on New Year's Eve. What do you say that we get up, go downstairs, light a fire, get out the champagne, and at midnight, we'll exchange vows. Then, tomorrow, we'll go down to the jewelers and pick out bands."

"Really?"

Those happy blue eyes melted Jim from the inside out, totally and completely. He nodded, his throat tight. His love for this man made his heart joyfully sing louder than the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. "Really."

"Cool." After a loud, slurpy kiss to Jim's lips, Blair practically leapt from the bed. "I want to change. I want to look good for you."

"You always do, my love."

Blair grinned. "Thanks, but we know who's got the body of a god in this family."

(rolling eyes) "Can it, Adonis. You'll do in a pinch."

(laughter) "Change now. Pinch later."

Jim laughed and got up to pull on slacks and the new sweater Naomi had sent him for Christmas. Blair said the deep blue color set off his eyes "beautifully", and Jim wanted to look good for his lover.

Blair pulled the cashmere sweater Jim had given him for the holidays from the top drawer of his dresser. His hands caressed the rich deep-red material. Jim had said it made him look "sexy", and he so wanted to look desirable for his mate.

Dressed, the men descended the stairs together.

"You look great, Jim. I love that color on you."

"Thanks, Chief." Jim touched Blair's shoulder, relishing the feel of the cashmere under his fingertips. "You look good enough to eat."

"Thanks, man. Why don't you light the fire and I'll put on something appropriate on the stereo?"

Jim started the fire and gathered up a pile of pillows and several Afghans while Blair riffled through their CD collection. He chose an instrumental selection of holiday tunes that he and Jim especially liked. Soon a soothing melody drifted through the large space, echoing softly from the rafters.

In the kitchen, Jim hummed along to the music while he grabbed the cold bottle of champagne from the fridge. He decided that it had been a long time since dinner so he unwrapped a wedge of sharp cheddar and washed a bunch of green grapes. He opened a fresh box of crackers and taking a tray from the cupboard, he carefully arranged the food, two wine glasses, a knife and his best cloth napkins. He smiled as he carried the tray into the living room. Thinking of Blair always seemed to make him smile. He set the tray down, arranged himself on the blanket, and tugged the tray to the edge of the coffee table within easy reach. His eyes feasted on his lover, who crossed the room toward him.

Blair had disappeared into the spare room for a few moments before joining Jim, carrying two thick, white candles and a box of matches. He lit the candles and after turning out the rest of the lights, he admired Jim's reflection in the flickering light of the fire and in the glow of the candles. God, he loved Jim more than he ever thought possible to love anyone. His throat closed up and he swallowed to clear it. With a shy smile, he sat down opposite Jim and crossed his legs.

"Hey, Chief." Jim's warm smile lit up his face and his smooth voice caressed Blair's ears.

Blair smiled with joy. "Hey, Jim."

"Less than fifteen minutes, Blair, and it's a new year."

"Yeah. Another year for us to be together."

"So, what's the plan?"

"Okay. You go first. Just say what's in your heart. What you want to say and what you want me to hear."

"You know I'm not nearly as eloquent as you are."

"Jim, you always act like you’re some Neanderthal who can't string two words together, but I know better. Hell, man, you have a MA in Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice. Don't pull that strong, silent type on me. I don't fall for it, buddy-boy."

"Buddy-boy?" (laughter)

"Macho man."

"Okay, okay. You win."

"Cool. So…"

"So…" (clearing throat) Jim took Blair's hand in his. " Blair Sandburg, you light up my life."

"Oh, shit." (rolling eyes)

"You fill up my senses?"

(laughter) "Better."

Jim smiled and took Blair's hand. "I love to see you laugh, Blair. Your eyes light up and your face is just beautiful. You make my heart flip over when you laugh. It's one of the best sounds in the world."

"Oh, man…" (breathlessly)

"Being with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make you happy. I want to make love with you every day of your life. I want to grow old with you. Everything I have is yours. Everything I am is because of you. I love you, Blair, now and forever."

"Jim… Wow. Thank you. That was awesome, man, absolutely awesome." (clearing throat and wiping eyes) "Jim, I love you so much. You've given me a home and you've let me into your life. More importantly, you've let me into your heart. I love your smile. I love the way your eyes light up when they look at me. I love how you make me feel special and protected and appreciated. I love how you touch me. I will always be here for you. I am yours, Jim. Sana olan sevgim sonsuzdur"

"Blair…" (whispering hoarsely) "That was beautiful. What does it mean?"

"It's Turkish. I think it's the language for love. (grinning) It means, My love for you is eternal."

"Oh, God, come here."

Blair melted into Jim's arms and their lips met in a tender, almost chaste kiss, sealing their vow and their bond with each other. They slowly lay back on the pillows, wrapped in each other's arms, kissing languidly and talking quietly between slow kisses. They snuggled together contentedly, petting and caressing, enjoying the warmth of the fire and of their love for each other. They drank champagne from each other's glasses and ate grapes from each other's lips. They nibbled on cheese and spread cracker crumbs everywhere. They laughed - a lot.

The far-off sounds of fireworks finally caught Jim's attention. He ran a hand down Blair's silky hair. "Happy New Year, my love." Jim placed a warm kiss on Blair's temple.

"Happy New Year, dearest heart," Blair whispered.

Their lips met and soon they were setting off fireworks of their own.

The End