Just Married?

By LilyK

-------------------------------------------------

My partner Blair Sandburg and I are walking across the airport parking lot towards the long-term lot when something ahead catches my attention, and I stop suddenly.

"What is it Jim?" Blair asks me quietly, knowing that I'm tuning into something.

"It's just…" I pause, a bit confused, and send my sense of sight across the wide expanse of cars, bringing my truck into sharp focus. "What the fuck!?" I shout, and take off running.

Blair follows quickly, yelling at me, "Jim! What's going on? For God's sake, Jim!"

I run as fast as I can while carrying my suitcase and stop next to my truck. I drop the suitcase to the ground and stand in shock, staring at the vehicle. My poor truck! Blair skids to a stop beside me and also stares at the disaster, his eyes wide.

"Jim? What the hell is going on? Who did this?" Blair asks.

"I have no idea, but I'm calling this in right now, and then I'm finding out who's in charge of airport security and having their asses on the line!" I yell.

Blair walks around the truck several times while I dig out my cell phone, but before I have a chance to dial, I hear a chorus of voices shouting "congratulations!" I look around quickly and suddenly, from behind cars, vans and trucks, out pop my co-workers from Major Crime and my boss, Simon Banks. They descend upon us, calling "congratulations" and "good luck" and "It's about time!" I'm stunned and speechless.

I take a quick glance at Blair who's looking at me, and he shrugs. I shake my head and glare at my captain.

"Simon, what the fuck is going on?"

Simon grins that shit-eating grin of his and pulls the cigar from between his teeth. "We thought it our civic duty, not to mention our duty as friends, to congratulate you and Blair on this momentous occasion."

Murmurs of acknowledgement flow from the other players in this little game. Rafe. Megan, Henri, Joel, Rhonda, Serena and Dan.

Blair is chuckling now but I'm pretty confused. I shoot him a look that says 'What?' but he's of absolutely no help. I stare at my truck for a few silent minutes trying to figure this out. I groan when I see the white letters painted on the passenger's side, JUST MARRIED!

I shake my head and walk around the back. More letters march across the tailgate, CONGRATULATIONS! And to really help matters, tied to my beautiful truck's bumper is a myriad of crap. Someone has wasted a lot of time stringing beer cans together. I almost smile when I notice that at least they picked out my favorite brand, Coors Light, but what about the other stuff? A Kevlar vest (mine). A pair of ratty high-top sneakers (Blair's). A plastic skeleton from Halloween (Blair's, anthro, you know). A small barbell (mine). Two stuffed animals, a wolf and a panther, are tied to each side of the bumper. Poor guys, I muse, what did they do to deserve this?

I shake my head in disgust and notice that all eyes are on me. Silence reigns. "Simon?" I ask spreading my hands wide. "What is going on?"

Simon shakes his head in exasperation. "Come on, Jim. It's okay. We're all friends. We understand." Simon looks at the others standing in a semi-circle behind him. "Right, guys?"

"Yeah, it's cool," Rafe says.

Brown adds, "It's not like it's new news, after all."

Megan dabs her eyes with a tissue. "It's just so sweet."

"And I wish you both the best," Rhonda sniffles just a bit also.

Serena smiles. "I'll admit, I wasn't in the loop on this one, but I'm happy for you both."

Dan pats me on the back and grins. "I admire your courage, both of you. And I also wish you the best of luck."

Simon nods appreciatively. "See. Your friends all understand and approve. We just wish you had let us in on it. We would have thrown you a shower."

Blair suddenly bursts out laughing and doesn't stop until he has to wrap an arm around his stomach and tears run down his face.

"Sandburg!" I grouse, "Will you please tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Blair tries desperately to catch his breath, and he finally looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes of his and says, "Get a clue, man."

"Shit," I answer. "The only clue I'm getting is that you're all fucking insane!"

Blair wipes his face with his hands and blows out his breath. "Okay. Okay. Calm down. I know. Let's do Twenty Questions." Then the bastard grins and bounces on his toes.

"Chief." I use my fiercest, most intimidating voice, which, of course, never works on Blair anyway.

He just grins even more. "Geez, Jim, settle down." He glances around at all of our friends. "Guys, give us a minute, will you?"

Heads nod and murmurs of "sure" and "okay" are heard. Blair tugs me by the shirtsleeve to the back of the truck.

"Question One…"

I growl, "Sandburg!"

He just bounces a bit more and continues, "Question One. Where did we just fly in from?"

I roll my eyes. "You're not just going to clue me in, are you?"

Blair shakes his head, smiling a Simon-like shit-eating grin.

I grit my teeth. "Hawaii."

"Right! Question Two. What is legal in Hawaii that isn't legal in other states?"

"Marijuana?"

Blair smacks my arm, hard. "Try again."

I shrug, apparently not on the same wavelength of my shaggy-headed partner. "Blair," I practically whine. God, I hate it when I whine.

He remains silent and grinning. I finally remember. "Oh, same-sex marriage?"

"Right again. Give the man a cigar." Blair bounces again, pointing to the truck and then to me.

"Oh, no," I mutter.

"Oh, yes!"

If Blair doesn't wipe that grin from his face in about two seconds, I know I'm going to do it for him.

"No!" I say in a shocked voice.

"Uh-huh." Blair nods and shrugs.

"Shit." I'm really putting my feelings into words now.

"Hey, man, would it be so bad?"

"Sandburg!"

"Just asking," he says innocently.

Blair's words are teasing, but when I look into his face I see something else there. He quickly looks away, almost squirming under my scrutiny. My mind processes this information while I surreptitiously scan his vitals. What is up with him? I wonder. His heart is racing and his pulse is increasing. Is he offended or insulted by the thought? Is he excited by it? I shake my head and berate myself severely. Stop that! Why are you going there? Blair is your partner, you idiot. Your very 'male' partner, in case that fact has escaped you.

"Okay," I say quietly, "Let me get this straight." I see Blair's mouth twitch at my choice of words and I give him my best glare. He just grins in return. Damn, when did he stop being easily intimidated by me? Then I remember that Blair is one of the few people who never was intimidated by me. Double damn. I'll have to ask him about that one of these days, but not today. Today we have other matters to discuss. I put the pieces together. "We went to Hawaii. You and I are partners and roommates. Neither of us is married, and we've lived together for what? Four years? The obvious conclusion is that we are now married?"

"Yes," comes the joyful answer from my very male, very handsome, very desirable partner.

I feel myself shake just a bit and the world tilts at a crazy angle for a second. Blair's strong hand holds my forearm and his gentle voice reaches my brain.

"Jim, relax. Listen to my voice. Take slow, even breaths." Blair instructs me until my breathing is normal and the world settles back onto its axis. He asks in a concerned voice. "Hey, man, are you okay? Are you dizzy or sick?"

I shake my head and breathe in and out several times. "I'm fine, Chief. Please, let's just say something to the guys and then go home. I'm a bit tired from the trip." Fuck tired. My mind is fried from the feeling that just shot through my body from my brain straight to my groin.

Blair switches into protective Guide mode in the blink of an eye. "Hey, guys!" He waves over our friends and makes a very pretty little speech. "Jim and I want to thank all of you for coming out and for the really nice welcome home. We want you to know that although we both really appreciate the gesture and also appreciate the fact that you'd all be willing to stand with us if this had happened," Blair gestures to the 'Just Married' sign on the truck, "Jim and I are not a couple. Nothing happened on the trip to Hawaii. We just went for a vacation. But thanks anyway."

Megan speaks first, "You don't have to keep it a secret any longer, don't you know that?"

Simon nods. "Yes, we won't broadcast the information about your private lives around. We just wanted to show support for your decision."

Voices join in agreement and I look at the expectant faces of our friends. I try to smile when I say, "Please, just take our word for this. Nothing happened. Now if you all don't mind, I'm tired from the long flight and I'm sure Blair is too, so we'd like to wish all of you a pleasant evening and we'll catch you all at work the day after tomorrow."

Simon grins. Rhonda sniffles again. "Oh, that's so sweet. They want to be alone."

Blair's quiet snicker is really starting to bug me and I shoot him a "when I get you home I'm going to kill you" look. He just snickers even more, the little prick. I give him another Ellison glare that has its usual Sandburg effect, absolutely none, and force myself to smile at our little entourage.

"Thanks again. Oh, and I assume this paint is water-soluble?" I point to my poor baby. (My truck, not Blair.)

Rafe and Henri grin. "Of course! Soap and water. Guess you'll have to wait until you get home to wash it off, huh?" Rafe says, chortling. Henri laughs deeply. "We did good, partner," he says, smacking Rafe on the back, obviously pleased with their handiwork. Then they have the audacity to high-five each other.

I pick up my suitcase and toss it in the bed of the truck. I gather up the dangling cans and various items and flip the whole mess into the bed so that my vehicle will not be hazardous to other drivers on the highway. While Blair stows his suitcase, I start the engine and after he hops in, I drive away. He waves out the back window at the happily waving group of misinformed compatriots.

We no sooner start to drive away than I launch into him. "Sandburg, did you put them up to that?"

"Jim! I'm hurt. Of course not. I had no idea, but you do have to admit, it's pretty funny."

I scowl at him. "It's not the least bit funny," I say as I reach up and flip down the sunvisor, intending to retrieve the parking pass that I had stowed under the clip when we left on our vacation. I almost wreck the truck when I'm suddenly deluged with rice and tiny pieces of mylar confetti in various shapes. I slam on the brakes and spit several pieces of confetti out of my mouth. I cough. I think I swallowed one that said, "Happy Day!"

Blair starts that damned laughing again and before I can tell him not to, he reaches up and flips his sunvisor down, spraying himself with more of the rice and confetti. The truck looks like a mardi-gras sidewalk now and Blair is laughing hysterically once again, scooping up pieces of confetti and tossing them at me. The sound of his laugher is infectious and when I look over at him, intending to growl my displeasure once again, I find that I'm suddenly laughing right along with him. We both laugh until our sides ache. It's a good while before I finally gather enough brain cells to speak.

"Oh, God," I try to breathe, wiping my face, "It is funny, I guess."

"Hell, yes, man, you might as well enjoy it."

"Sandburg, look in the glove compartment for the damned parking ticket, would you?"

Blair flips open the glove compartment and reaches in, bringing out the parking pass in one hand and in the other, a handful of colorful packets and a huge tube. "Jim!" Blair holds up the handful of condoms and the container of strawberry-flavored lube.

"Oh, shit," is all I can think to say right now.

Blair hands me the parking ticket and I finally am calm enough to drive to the ticket booth. I hand it over and reach for my wallet.

The attendant smiles. "Congratulations."

I don't even try to explain and I know I'm blushing, which really pisses me off. "Thanks," I mutter, handing over the bills. Blair grins that same irritating grin and waves good-bye to the attendant when we pull away. He'd better quit acting like the blushing partner in this little romance or he's going to be sleeping on the sofa. I laugh at my own bit of humor and Blair laughs with me. He's obviously enjoying himself immensely.

As we drive from the booth, Blair fingers through the condoms piled on his lap. "Hmm, I can't quite decide if I like the neon pink one best, or this glow-in-the-dark green one. Hey, maybe the one with the little ticklers on it!"

"Chief! This is not funny," I say through my chuckles. "Really, I mean it." I try to be shocked, but actually, the idea of Blair as a partner seems quite inviting. And I don't mean as my police partner, I mean as my life partner. I'm considering this revelation when Blair's voice interrupts my reverie.

"Man, I'm starved! That plane food sucked. Let's drive through somewhere on the way home." Blair fidgets around a bit, tucking his hair behind his ear and humming under his breath.

I focus on Blair. "Sure, Chief, Subs, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, Jim, whatever. That's good. I'll have a tuna on whole wheat and extra veggies."

I glance at him and clear my throat. "Ah, Chief, you weren't offended by the guys thinking that we are, ah, you and I… you know."

Blair looks directly out the front window and says, "Offended? Hell, no, Jim. You know how I feel about the gay lifestyle. I've never tried it before, but I have gay friends. I'd never be offended by something like that. You know what they say, don't knock it until you try it. Besides, you'd be a great catch."

I jerk the wheel just a bit when I swivel my head to look at my partner. "Sandburg!" I seem to be surprised by quite a lot of things today. Once again I notice that his heart rate and pulse are elevated just a bit.

"Ellison!" Blair echoes, laughing.

I start to ponder this adjustment in Blair's physical condition when I notice that we're just about the turnoff for Subway. I negotiate the truck to the pickup window and order our food. A perky college co-ed hands over the bag and smiles.

"Oh, cool. Congrats," she bubbles. "My brother is gay, too. You guys make such a cute couple."

I nod my thanks. Blair gives the girl a sweet smile. "Thank you so much." He bubbles a bit too.

Blair holds the bag of food on his lap. He's very quiet for the rest of the drive home, and so am I. I have a lot of thinking to do. We make it to the loft, park, and manage to get into the building without running into anybody else who wants to congratulate us. Thank God for small favors.

Blair opens the door and drags his suitcase to his room. I put mine at the bottom of the stairs. "Let's eat first," I say, "Then I'm going down and wash that truck."

Blair grins yet again, nodding happily. "Sure, Jim. Soda or beer?" he asks, pulling one of each from the fridge and holding up the cans.

"Soda for me. Thanks, Chief."

We sit and eat the subs, along with the soda and a fresh bag of tortilla chips I had stashed on the top shelf out of Blair's hungry path of destruction. When the food is gone and cleanup is done, I fill a bucket with hot, soapy water. Grabbing a clean rag, I yell at Blair, who's disappeared into his room, "I'm going down to scrub the truck, Chief."

"Sure, Jim," comes the quiet response. The tone of his voice stops me. He sounds, I don't know, disappointed? Upset? Unhappy?

I go over and knock lightly. "Blair?"

The door opens. "Yeah?" Blue eyes look into mine. They're such a nice color. Soft and warm when Blair's quiet. Bright and perky when he's excited. Dark and brooding when he's upset, like now. I wonder quickly how they would look when he's hot and horny.

"You're upset about something. I can tell."

He shrugs.

I reach out a hand and touch his shoulder. I swear he leans into my touch just a fraction and I catch a scent wafting in my direction. Pheromones. The smell travels through my nose and my body responds instantaneously. My pulse quickens and my heart rate accelerates. My blood feels warm and tingly. I stand frozen while I catalog my physical responses to Blair's presence. I'm more than surprised at my reaction to him. Then it hits me. He's not upset because of what our friends thought had happened. He's upset because it didn't happen!

Suddenly, I hear his quiet voice break through. "Come on, Jim. Listen to my voice. Concentrate. Focus on my voice."

I shake my head and pinch the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, thanks, Chief. I'm here. Sorry about that."

"What the hell was that, Jim? You were zoned. But why?"

I lick my lips and then sigh. "Blair, I was wondering… What do you think… Suppose… Oh, hell."

"Spit it out, man. I won't bite." Blair tells me, then he adds under his breath, "…hard."

"Chief!"

"What?"

"Did you mean it when you said it didn't bother you about the guys, you know, thinking that we were a couple?"

"Yes, Jim, I meant it. And no, Jim, it doesn't bother me. In fact, it's just the opposite. I kind of like the idea."

"You do?"

He nods and watches me closely. Those eyes are suddenly dark and something lurks there. I stare, trying to understand what is happening.

"Blair, ah, do you think maybe we should see what happens if we actually, ah, did something?"

Blair smiles. "Like what, Jim?" he asks quietly.

"Maybe I could kiss you? Just once, for an experiment."

"Sure, Jim, Just once."

I nod and lean down just a bit and he turns his face up to me just a bit and the first thing we do is bump noses. Blair chuckles softly and I grin. "Sorry," I mutter.

"It's okay," he says.

I tip my face and line up our lips and slowly I move forward until our skin is barely touching. I close my eyes and feel the soft, warm flesh against mine. I pull back and our eyes meet.

"How was that?" I ask.

"Hmmm," Blair thinks, putting a finger alongside his cheek, "I think we need to try again. That test was inconclusive."

"Oh," I say a bit breathlessly, "Okay by me."

This time Blair moves to stand on the first step of the stairs and puts his hands on my shoulders. He leans in and kisses me, very softly at first and then he presses harder. I feel myself leaning into the kiss and before I can even think, my arms are around his waist, pulling him close, pressing his chest against mine. His kiss becomes more passionate and his arms circle my neck, holding me prisoner against his mouth.

I surrender completely at the wonderful sensation of Blair's mouth on mine, and when his tongue swipes across my lips, I open my mouth without hesitation, welcoming the demanding tongue into my body. Blair is noisy and pushy and demanding and loving and desirable. He kisses me relentlessly and with as much enthusiasm as I would have expected from my energetic roommate.

Finally, when my knees are shaking and I'm panting for breath, he lets me breathe. He looks at me with dark blue eyes brimming with desire. Now I know what his eyes look like when he wants me!

"Now that was a successful experiment," he quips. "I love science."

I laugh and wonder out loud. "What the hell was that?"

"That was great, man," Blair offers.

"Chief, what do you say we take this upstairs? Are you up for more experiments?"

He laughs deeply and hugs me close. "I'm up. See?" He takes my hand and rubs it over his hard-on pressing against his jeans.

I stroke my palm over the thick erection and he groans and leans against my touch.

"Do you want to talk about this?" I whisper.

"No," he whispers back, "I just want to feel." He turns and starts up the steps, taking my hand and tugging me along behind him.

"Blair?"

Blair turns and gives me an encouraging smile. "Yes?"

"What happens if this experiment is a failure?"

"That's the wrong question, Jim."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he nods happily. "The question should be, What happens if this experiment is a success? Then we'll have to explain to our friends that we didn't lie about what they already thought we had done and then we'll have to explain how we've already done what they thought, only not when they thought we did and that now we did do what they thought we had done before."

"Chief!"

"What? It makes perfect sense to me." Blair gives me a quick kiss and starts back up the stairs. He makes it about half way when he turns once again and gives me the most innocent, sweet smile imaginable. "Oh, by the way, if this experiment is a success, I'll expect you to make an honest man out of me." He chuckles and races up the stairs, calling out his desires. "I want a ring and flowers and a honeymoon…"

I launch myself up the stairs and tackle him mid-sentence, hauling him off his feet and dumping his unceremoniously onto the bed. Blair bounces against the mattress and giggles, still talking away.

"…and a house with a white picket fence and a dog and a satellite dish and a vegetable garden…"

I grin and look at my soon-to-be lover babbling away. Those lips look like they need something else to do but to talk incessantly so I do the right thing. I kiss him into silence and then I kiss him into nirvana, followed very closely by sending his body into orbit, and mine into outer space right along with him. And to think, all because of a bit of a misunderstanding, a little white paint, and a Just Married sign. Sometimes the best things just happen when you least expect them.

The End