The Girl Next Door

First off, let me say that I do not like this episode. I hate Blair being lead around by the wrong ah, body part. It's demeaning, and Iris is scummy. I would hope that a smart guy like Blair wouldn't be this desperate, but in this episode, the writers have decided that he is. <sigh> That being said, let's review this episode.

We find out that Blair is having car trouble with the Volvo even though the department has given him “replacement money” as Jim tells us. Hmmm, he loves that car, so why not use the money to fix the darned thing! Volvos are good cars. They run forever. Actually, I had one once (same body type, only red) and it was not a bad little car. The car trouble plays a big part in this episode.

Our first glimpse of Jim is in the loft on the phone with Blair. Jim is wearing a white and black plaid shirt and tan khakis. He's leaving for a stake out and tells Blair via his cell that he won't wait for him. Blair is rushing home when he discovers the icky Iris in the trunk of her car, put there by her equally dumb and icky boyfriend, Chance. Nice shot of Jim's truck, all clean and shiny, as he drives by Iris on his way out.

Blair is wearing a kind of grey button up shirt and jeans, and his sunglasses. He finds Iris locked in the trunk of her car (by the evil ex). Blair tries to call the cops, but Iris feeds him a line about not liking cops because of her counter-culture parents. Blair looks very nice in the sunny close up. His eyes are sure pretty. <g> He hits on Iris immediately, of course, and she jumps at it. From this point on, she plays Blair like a cheap piano.

I hate that Blair leaves Jim alone and asleep in the loft with the evil!Iris. Jim is awakened by horrible guitar playing. It's (surprise!) Iris. Jim looks especially cute in plaid boxers and a sleep mask, and nothing else. Woohoo! Even Iris mentions the boxers. Blair comes home and lies about Jim being in road maintenance. Blair is wearing tan khakis and a royal blue button up shirt. He explains to Iris that the guitar she is making awful noises on was a gift from Jimi Hendrix to Naomi. The fact that Blair actually loans her the guitar in exchange for him cooking her dinner makes me want to scream. It is just so wrong.

Jim reappears in a grey bathrobe, looking adorable, I might add. Famous line here when they're talking about Blair's love life, Jim says, “Perfect for another train wreck in the ongoing disaster that is your love life.”. Blair is all gung-ho to make his seduction dinner. I hope he burns everything.

In a cute scene, Joel, Simon and Blair are talking about Blair's new girl. Jim is wearing a rust colored button up shirt over a white t-shirt and tan khakis. Jim is worried about the new girl, suspecting that something's up with her. He scans the computer database and finds out she's not a nice person. Robbery, extortion, grand theft auto, and drug running. Good choice, Blair!

Blair is cooking his seduction dinner when Iris calls and maneuvers Blair into coming to pick her up. He is dumb enough to go, and surprise, surprise, gets embroiled in a drug deal gone bad. Jim tries to call Blair, but he's not home. Why he didn't use Blair's cell is beyond me. Oh, wait! It wasn't in the script. Blair looks adorable with his hair down and glasses on while he's driving.

To move this long, what happens is that Iris goes into a convenience store and comes out with the ex, Chance. They kidnap Blair, who figures out that he's made a big booboo when he discovers that they're now the proud owners of half a mil in heroin that they (Iris and Chance) have stolen from Chance's connection, Artie. Needless to say, the connection is not to happy to be swindled. Of course, Blair doesn't come home and Jim is worried. When they run the tape from the convenience story, Simon thinks it is Iris and Blair on the tape, but for a nice change, Jim defends Blair, noticing that it's not Blair's jacket and the guy in the tape is using his left hand. Jim knows Blair well enough to remember he's right handed, and that he doesn't have a crappy, worn jacket. Good Jim.

BTW, Jim is wearing a grey sports coat over a grey t-shirt and grey slacks. Simon and Jim go off to the scene, where Jim finds heroin, and that shots were fired. They're obviously worried now.

What I don't understand is why Blair continues to cooperate with these people. I know that the bad guys have guns, but the first rule is never go with the bad guys. Then they can torture you first before they kill you. If Blair had jumped out of the car at the convenience story when Chance was in the back seat, he could have sprinted away. I doubt that Chance could have climbed out of the back seat or rolled down the window fast enough to shoot at Blair. Wait, it wasn't in the script! I do not like this episode.

Anyway, the Volvo is spotted by a highway patrolman who calls it in. Of course, Jim and Simon head out toward the sighting. As luck would have it, there is a school bus accident with little kiddies, so Chance blows through the accident, but Jim, being a Boy Scout, stops to help. Yeah, I know Jim would stop. I would too, but it's just so – silly.

I love when the Volvo acts up and dies. Blair gives another speech about how they should give themselves up, and it pisses Chance off. He threatens to shoot Blair after making him get out of the car. When Artie shows up, Chance and Iris take off. Blair stands on the side of the road and gets re-kidnapped by Artie. <sigh> This is almost painful.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch... LOL! Jim and Simon lose the trail and go back to the station. They figure out that Iris has a nice brother who also traffics in heroin. They head out to visit with brother Rob. Iris and Chance show up at Rob's garage, where he fixes the Volvo. Chance goes and takes a nap after eyeballing Iris and inviting her to bed, but she tells him to take a hike.

Artie threatens to kill Blair if he doesn't tell them where Iris and Chance, and his heroin are. Blair gets good camera with the gun in his face. Artie locks him in a highway restroom, then calls Iris and tells her he was Blair. Iris, being a sweet girl, tells him she doesn't care. While Blair is trying to figure out how to get away, Artie and Iris make a deal to sell the heroin, cutting out Chance. Blair rips down a piece of a mirror frame, complete with nails, and whacks Artie on the arm. He escapes, finally!!! Good scene of Blair running fast and furious to get away. Why he didn't take Artie's car is beyond me.

As luck would have it, guess where Blair runs? To the highway. Guess who's conveniently driving by? Duh. Iris and brother Rob.

Jim and Simon reach Rob's garage, where Jim smells the oil from Blair's car. Jim finds where Blair's car was parked while Simon finds Chance. In a very good scene, Jim is quite adamant about asking where Blair is. Chance doesn't have a clue, of course. He's stupider than Iris, if it's possible. I also love that Simon shoves Chance around a bit. Very nice, Simon. So Blair is re-rekidnapped. Rob, Iris and Blair head off to the train station to go to Canada with the drugs. Oh, in case you're wondering, Rob is stupid too. Artie follows the Volvo easily and everybody ends up at the train station, and I do mean everybody – Rob, Iris, Blair, Artie, Simon and Jim. Jim “follows” the oil leaking from Blair's car, which is very cool. At least he uses his senses a few times in this one.

While they're taping the heroin to their bodies, Blair finally makes a move, taking the gun from Iris, but when they try to leave the station, Artie shows up and nabs them. Artie agrees to work with Iris after Iris offers her wonderful self as part of their new deal. Artie agrees and asks Iris to shoot Blair. But our hero, the Sentinel, intervenes and saves the day. Oh, we get to see Blair's hairy chest for a brief moment before he puts his shirt on. I forgot that this was a shirtless Blair scene! Cool! I also like when Iris offers to split everything three ways and Blair's response is that he's not into threesomes. Good answer, Blair. I'm sure this one has cooties.

Cute reunion scene with Jim and Blair. Jim goes after Artie, and the requisite chase scene ensues. This one involves dirt bikes. Jim catches his man, of course. Good Jim. Blair goes after Iris, who still has the drugs, and guess where he puts her when he catches her? Where he found her in the first place – in the trunk of a car, his this time. Very nice close ups of Blair here. That blue shirt makes his eyes very pretty. I like when Blair drives up to where Jim and Simon are standing in the parking lot and Blair peers over his shades. We find out that Naomi taught Blair to put things back where he found them. And being a good son, he did just that. Iris is nicely locked in his trunk, along with the rest of the junk.

The tag is cute. Blair feeds the seduction dinner to Joel, Simon and Jim. And Joel says he doesn't feel turned on. We find out that Blair was booked, fingerprinted and photographed because he had the heroin in his trunk, and he's offended he was treated so badly. Iris cooperated and admitted Blair was innocent. And Blair still says he should stay in touch with Iris and be a positive role model? Is that man nuts or what? Oh, clothes! Jim is sitting down, so I can see that he's wearing a rather nice purplish blue shirt. I assume he's wearing pants, but I can't tell. <g> Blair has on a pale blue shirt with some kind of cream or yellow design on it, and jeans, and he's playing his guitar. He feeds the guys some strange dessert that makes everybody cringe. It's a cute ending to a bad episode.

The End.

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